Dear Perfect Mum,

We met yesterday under less than perfect circumstances. Your little angels were playing in the same indoor play area as my monster of a child, who is clearly the worst two year old in the world.

Whilst your children played, my son launched a malicious attack on them with clear intent to harm. I mean this of course is what goes through the mind of a two year old (he turned two yesterday may I add). Kicking his leg out at your girls as they climbed the 1 meter high slope, as he thought he was playing, clearly deserves a prison sentence.

So it is completely understandable that you, with your amazing parenting skills thought it was okay to run across to my son, point your finger at him and throw a truck load of verbal abuse his way. He completely understood everything you were shouting and promises never to be such a “silly, horrible little boy” again. I particularly take on board that perfect mothers such as yourself deem it acceptable to use phrases such as “don’t you dare…” whilst disciplining strangers’ children. Thank you for teaching my child that when someone does something wrong you should shout and threaten them, however, this imperfect mother has slightly different, albeit substandard, parenting skills.

I will discipline him but I will do it my way and not when you point at him and shout at me, telling me to “do it then.”

Very best wishes,
This Suboptimal Mum